October 2 2010 – Artist’s statement, André Hillas

I broke my arm 11 days ago, was in hospital for 3 nights and have been at home for a week. Since then, I have been sleeping, making art and watching films. I have found I have become very self indulgent, and this has come across in my art. Being alone for hours, with nothing more than a computer to entertain you, one starts looking to themself for entertainment.

I have been creating photobooth pictures where I substitute myself in a particular scene; in on, I am on the island with Tom Hanks in castaway, another I’m swimming in a pool with Michael Mola, from high school. I have spent hours on facebook, as it provides me with attention/communication with a world outside of my bedroom. Through this, I have spent extra effort to gain this attention. As an example, I have put up photos that show the harsh bruising of my scar, or of me in hospital connected to all the medical tubing. This provokes a response and on facebook, it acts as advertising toward oneself.

I have questioned if what I have been doing is at all self-portraiture and to an extent it is. However unlike a portrait it does not aim to capture the ‘real’ me, it is more weighted toward being a performance; a performance that calls for an audience. I did a video that is a cut/paste type edited work of all my collected videos throughout my hospital experience. Unlike hospital, the video is fast-paced and energetic. It displays me in an energetic state, although in real life, I was very much sedated and dull. I guess the purpose of the video then, was to enjoy the process of creating it. Like my video of the zac/elle night, it is a truth (the footage) that creates a untruth (final product) in its editing – it lies to the viewer about what really happened in hospital, or that night with zac and elle.

To make art about my injury and my time alone at home is relevant. It is relevant, because I am making art about my life at present. For the past 11 days and the coming 7 days in particular, I am bound by rules of recovery that govern my happenings. I am currently unable to drive around at night with zac, creating video or photographic work. What I am able to do however, is sit in my room and create about what I am currently experiencing. Because I am experiencing a lot of boredom, this inevitably comes across in my photobooth/videos/facebooking. It is obvious I am trying to entertain myself and stay sane, as insanity is not too far away.

I have also put more time than usual into my blog, as I treat it a a central hub where all my creation can be collected, and viewed rrom a distance. I find this helpful. It is more for myself, as I have recently found out (by looking at online traffic stats), no one actually reads this, perhaps Sarah, and that is it. As it is mainly for myself, I don’t feel too worried about what I put on there. It’s in a sense, an online studio.

I have recently broken away from my predictable imagery of dark scenes at night. I found this restricting. Working with photobooth and facebook is fun, as is doing quick videos using footage I find on my phone. Not all my work has to be final, nor well considered. In the last few months, I have lost a lot of the experimental art that should be included in someone’s practice. Now, I feel I am starting to do more of it. One thing I fear is marking at uni. Hopefully, my teachers understand I am at a fragile point in my art making and I am testing new grounds in a hope to gain a greater understanding of my art and contemporary art practice. Not much of what I am creating now is good, yet it doesn’t other me. Making good art is not relevant at present.

I am contemplating doing some drawing, as I have not done any for a while, and perhaps I will find it liberating. Anyway, another week at home now, and I aim to make it a week of creation. Mind you though, I’ve also been doing my normal photography. Well not so much shooting, but editing a backlog of old photos from the last 3 weeks. This does not really progress much, but it is something I enjoy, and I am finding a strong groove, so I don’t plan on abandoning it at anytime soon.